
Emily, Kai Xuan, Jing Jie, Weihong
“Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.” Desperate seconds ticked pass. The big analog clock hung high on the bare wall stared down at me, scorning me with every movement of its second hand, its steady chant caused my brains to pulse in pain. Oh! I felt a drop of sweat trickling down my forehead and then my left cheek, finally landing on my tongue.”Yuck, salty and sour. Could that be my fate? Nothing good ever comes from a trip to the principal.” A voice in my mind told me, “could I have done something wrong? Maybe, just maybe, it was... “Most likely not”, a second voice whispered. Just then, the head of a Felis domestica popped out at the window. Its head slowly turned and looked inside the room, as if it were examining the contents of the waiting room. Its eyes came to rest on me, its shining eyes piercing my naked soul. I shut my eyes in anticipation of the mockery and shame that I predicted was coming. The cat then mewed softly, a sound that days ago would have been reassuring, but now seemed to be like a prayer for mercy. I immediately turned and looked away, feeling a immense sense of dread of the impending doom. There came a feeling of tension slowly building up and up. Suddenly, the heavy wooden door slammed open, and I awaited my fate...
Done by: Vorro, Wen Yue, Hao Yang, & Wai Hang
I picked up the note with trembling fingers. The paper crackled as i touched it. I instantly recognized the handwriting on the note was none other than that of my boss. What matter could be so serious, that the boss himself had to personally write a letter to me? A single phrase came out of my mouth: “I am so dead”. Subconsciously, my mind searched for a probable answer as to why he wanted to see me. Did he catch me for playing tetris during work hours? Cold sweat dripped from my forehead. That was a good enough reason to fire me already! Or was it because he found out about my fake illnesses? I could almost hear him scolding me! Wow, that would be horrible!
Or maybe I was getting a promotion? Well, I had been working hard, despite the occasion that I played tetris. If so, this is good news! I would tell my wife about it! Imagine how happy she’d be. If I did get promoted, my dad would also be so proud of me. And with that positive attitude, I almost literally skipped over to my bosses’ office. Imagine the satisfied grins on their faces, that would be so good.
I am quite comfortable with myself as I accept that fact that I am not perfect. Everyone is flawed, and I try to accept my flaws and improve on them. Also, I try to focus on my strengths instead of harping on my weaknesses the whole time. I also learn to be contented, it is not possible for me to have everything I wish to have. Some people wish for popularity, to fit in, or to be the perfect student/role model. However, I feel that that is the root cause of not being comfortable with yourself. Thus, I ensure I do not hurt myself by being contented with what I have, and try to be more optimistic.
How I deal with pressure to achieve or be the perfect student?
In SST, sometimes I do find the pressure to achieve quite overwhelming, as all the students are doing quite well, and there is competition to achieve good grades. Also, the things we learnt in class are sometimes more advanced, and it is hard to achieve good grades under the circumstances. However, even though I really want to achieve good grades, I do not push myself beyond the breaking point. I try not to let the pressure build up too much, and occasionally I do take breaks from studying and just relax doing my favourite things. When I do underachieve, I try not to punish myself too hard and just put in more effort for the next assignment and test. Thus, I feel that balancing the need to achieve and the leniency is very important in order to deal with pressure to achieve or be the perfect student.
As for results of depression, loneliness and heartbreaks, I feel that this can cause a lot of stress for the one experiencing it. He/she may not be able to find a solution to his/her emotions and may even generate negative thoughts/emotions. This, if not diagnosed and treated psychologically over a period of time, may cause the problem to elevate and therefore create more stress and problems, to the extent that he/she does things harming himself/herself or others. And what would be more vicious is that though it may seem that he/she looks fine, it could be that the problems of depression, loneliness and heartbreaks are actually affecting him/her really bad deep inside, though no one else knows and does nothing about it.
Being different from peers would be another issue. In my own opinion, I feel that how it affects the person would really depend on him/her as an individual – whether he/she treats/recognizes this as something positive or negative. Besides, it would also have to depend on what the environmental surroundings and reactions of the peers are. So, positively, the fact on being different from peers would not really affect the individual at all as he/she would not care about the problem (as the peers also don’t mind). Negatively on the hand, being different from peers can actually cause the problem of isolation for the peers. And as mentioned in the book ‘Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul’, isolation can result in many psychological problem for the victim (this could be due to whether peers accept/reject the person due to differences).
For ‘having a front’ as a problem, I think that doing this is actually not being one’s ‘true self’. This can most likely happen for those who appear “weird” or “unnatural” etc. in different occasions. They may be the ones most criticized by others and may also have other problems such as depression, loneliness, heartbreaks and being different from peers. What most from the rest of the world does not understand is that they are only trying to do this so that they can ‘fit in’ or ‘be accepted’ into the community (though this can often make it worse for other people’s perspective on them).
For me, back in primary school, I used to think that all these problems such as depression, loneliness, heartbreaks, being different from your peers, and having to put up a front are just part of daily life. I won’t usually mind if people try to hurt me every single day, whether physically or mentally. I just lived through those. But over time, after getting into secondary school, I started to recognize this as a problem. Though this may sound good, but it soon resulted me in getting emotional at times and being unable to control. Back then, I would cry uncontrollably (even if I did NOT want to), in front of everyone in usually inappropriate situations. After that (you can now see the problem progress as it was not treated), there was a period of time where I got into a mode where I started hurting myself and others. Now? Whenever I meet with some of this issues, I would try to solve it. If I really cannot take it, I would just sleeeep (as it makes you forget about the problem and feel better about it when you wake up).
I feel that everyone would go through depression, loneliness, heartbreaks, experience being different from his/her peers and have to put up a front. However, it is how we manage and conquer these issues that determines how much we are affected by these issues. Some of us take this as the norm and move on even after facing it, however, there are others that are stuck and admit defeat in the face of some these issues.
Depression comes about most of the time, when a person does not accept himself/herself. But by just launching into a state of depression, nothing will be solved. Heartbreaks are a major part of teenagers’ lives, and so is loneliness and being different from your peers. The need for best friends and to fit in always will not be achievable for many, and thus we need to learn to be contented and to accept that everyone is unique in their own way.
There is no one fixed solution to dealing with this problems, but I know that I am special, and I will not surrender when faced with these issues, because it is all part of life, all part of the process for us to strengthen and to improve.