Monday, April 4, 2011

Instructions for Lesson on Monday

Dear 207

Please download the article on Google Site entitled 'Why Chinese Mothers are More Superior' and submit the answers as comment to this post. Thank you.

Deadline: Monday 5pm


  1. 1) I think that there is a significant difference between the teaching methods of the Western and Chinese mothers. Chinese mothers might resort to the worst legal action to help their child achieve the goal that the Chinese mothers think they should, while the Western mothers would care more about the self esteem of their child, and let their child choose their own paths, as long as it makes them happy.

    2) I would agree that Singaporean parents adopt the method by Chinese mothers, as hard work may seem like a daunting task at first, it will soon pay off in the future. But if the child has reached a state where he or she is unable to continue, the mothers should try to use the Western's mothers method, and persuade them to do better.

    3) I would have a equal balance between my child's self esteem and his academic achievements. I will try to explain to him or her the importance of having such achievements, that their effort will pay off in the near future. But at the same time I would keep an eye on their self esteem, if they get too depressed during the course, I would try to put them in a more comfortable environment before they continue on.

    4) Paragraph 4 on page 4 caught my attention, as I did not realise that the Chinese mothers would go to such an extend of depriving their children of their meals, and hurl insults at them. I think that keeping their toys and not giving their christmas presents are still acceptable, but depriving them of their food and hurling insults at them are too much.

  2. 1. I think and realize that Chinese parents are much more fierce to their children and would do anything in order to succeed whereas Western parents are more concerned about the welfare of their children and would not want to push them too far beyond their limit.

    2. I would agree that Amy Chua's method of parenting would be partially successful in Singapore as even though there is an initial state of the child's misery, after the parent manages to push the child to his/her limit, the child feels proud of him/herself as he has accomplished the task. If used in SIngaporean context, the parents should not be too hard on the child as generation y/z does not have such a hihg tolerance level and might result in emotional breakdowns.

    3. Imagining myself as a parent, I would take roughly the same approach as the writer as I feel that this method might be brutal but is effective in raising up children. As the real world is a tough place to live in, and setbacks occur very recently, if children should experience it when they are young so they shall not be too affected by setbacks. If I push them too hard, I will not hesitate to tell them this is for their own good and comfort them.

    4. Paragraph 4 of Page 4 is the paragraph that caught my attention the most as it talks about how the writer managed to "convince" her child to play the song. At first the child was reluctant to play the song but as the writer forced her, she complied. Through insulting her daughter, she managed to make her comply. Surprisingly, her daughter did not get emotionally damaged

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  4. 1. What are your thoughts having read the above article?

    That tiger mother Amy Chua who is a distinctive modern day methodologist of Traditional Chinese Parenting Method have both advantages and disadvantages. This method is a huge gamble on the child psychological perseverance as one:
    It have only two options what the child would become - FAIL or SUCCEED. Forcing a child brings the limit out of him or her, if the child is good and naturally gifted, he/she would be very successful. However, if the child is born like bit dumb, forcing him/her until there is no tomorrow will just make the child suffer.

    2. Amy Chua’s method of parenting has produced a success formula for raising her children. Would you agree if Singaporean parents advocate a similar method of parenting style if it proves to be “successful”? Explain.

    Yes, to a chinese. This kind of method is like a miracle medicine to those who can take it. I would half agree and half against Singaporean parent following her method. First, Singapore is a Westernised country. The simplest way of producing prodigy kids is by buying him/her lots of gadgets and games. Since Singaporeans is already so Westernised, enforcing this kind of torturous method on children is just violating human rights. This can lead to abusement of children, harming the children’s psychological state of health and a hint to committing suicide.

    3. Imagine yourself as a parent. How similar or different would you bring up your child?

    The best way is to bring the best advantages of the Traditional Chinese and Modern Western and combine it in such a way that the children can work hard and not to be pampered all the time.

    4. Select a paragraph which caught your attention and explain why?

    From page 3, starting from third line “If a Chinese child gets a B…. to get the grade up to an A.”
    I think getting a B is like FAIL. But who gets blamed for the failure? If the exam is set to test on what the children had learnt and it is possible to get full mark, the child gets B - that is not acceptable. If the exam is to test on beyond what the child had learnt in class, getting a B is acceptable. Parents must be able to differentiate the difference between normal exams and genius selection quiz. Parents must be able to understand the situation before whacking their children.

  5. I think that Chinese parents can cultivate more successful children because of their firm stand and belief to never give up—anything is possible. Chinese parents expect their children and give them a heaven or hell treatment for perfection or under-performing respectively. This makes the child more proud and confident once they have mastered a skill. Chinese parents aim to equip their children with necessary life skills as they think their children are not capable of having the discipline themselves.

    Western parents, on the other hand, cannot as efficiently cultivate successful children. Many of them are disrespected by their children. Due to the freedom they have been given, they are more easily-influenced by their peers and tend to disobey orders when given. I think it is possible to say that Western parents expect more from children than the Chinese as they are expected to have the skills of self-discipline on their own.

    Singaporean parents come from different background, thus, some are Western-influenced and others are Chinese-influenced. Most of the Singaporean parents are able to cultivate successful children by having using a mixture of both. Most of them uses the method of giving their children the freedom to do what they want provided that they show results, while others neglect non-academic performances.

    If I was a parent, I would adopt the method above: to let my children have freedom provided they excel in terms of academic results, social well-being and interest-development.

    The paragraph, “All the same...that get tough,” has caught my attention. I am surprised that Western parents think that 30–60 minutes of practice is too much for the child. Personally, I would think that that duration is too short for anything to be accomplished and mastered, let alone music.

  6. This passage has really brought to my attention the "power" of chinese parents. It brought up a lot of points as to why and I feel that it has more or less fixed my mindset. Before reading this, I never really felt that there was a "superior" parent type. I always thought that every kind of parent has it's own advantage and disadvantage. This has really convinced me of the superiority of chinese parents.

    I think it would depend a lot on the child. If he/she is one that needs constant support and motivation, Amy's method would be effective. Her method constantly provides motivation and "threats" and will really push the him/her to do well. However, if the child cannot take these “threats” and very easily lose self-esteem, this method would not work well as this will make the child think that he/she is not good enough and will lose morale. This will eventually cause the child to totally give up, even though his/her parents are still motivating her.

    I think I would use a similar method to Amy’s as it has proven to be quite effective. This will allow me to motivate and push my child to work hard and achieve desirable results and eventually do something big in the future, as all parents want it to be. However, instead of using threats, I would use rewards to motivate my child as this shows the optimism in me. Adding rewards will really spur the child to work hard, especially if the reward is something they like a lot. If I give threats, they will feel fear and their hard work will nor really be for them, but more for us, the parents. Thus giving rewards will really spur them to work hard.

    The paragraph that really surprised me is the paragraph where Amy made Lulu master the piano piece overnight. In that paragraph, Amy threatened Lulu with many threats, like no dinner, no lunch etc. This has really surprised me as I did not know of any parent that really makes use of these kind of threats to make their child do something. For me, I do not really approve of this method as I find it torturous. In the case where the child really has some learning disability that the parent does not know of, won’t the child die? Also, in the case where the child is rebellious, this will never work as they will stick to their point and still not do their work.

    Darius Low

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  8. I feel that the Chinese way of educating children is more effective in making children get good grades and obeying their parents. Western parents are worried about their children’s self-esteem and indulge in their children too much.

    If the method does prove to be successful, I feel that Singaporean parents should advocate a similar method, but occasionally reward their children and let them have their way as the plan may backfire and drive children mad.

    I will try different methods and observe the children’s reactions. Depending on the nature of the children, I will apply the right method.

    The paragraph that caught my attention is
    “All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough.” I was quite surprised that “strict” Western parents make their children practice instruments for 30 minutes to an hour. I think that Singaporean Chinese parents would make their children practice for 3 hours, like in the paragraph.

  9. 1.What are your thoughts having read the above article:
    My thoughts on having read the above article is that chinese parents care more about what they think will make their children "successful" in life,mostly academics,and will make their children work towards it.Western Parents,on the other hand have a more rounded approach to bringing up a child.They care not only just about a child's academic development,but also about a more diverse childhood,letting a child get more experience in areas such as sports or drama.
    2.Amy Chua's method of Parenting has produced a success formula for raising her children.Would you agree if Singaporean parents advocate a similar method of parenting style if it proves to be "successful"?Explain
    Yes,I would agree that Singaporean parents will advocate a similar method of parenting style if it proves to be "successful".In my opinion,Singaporean parents are very concerned about how the child will turn out to be in the future.They will want the child to excel academically and will put in a lot of effort,money and time into this. From this,we can see just how much the parents are committed to whatever methods that they think will enable their child to "succeed".Therefore,if Amy Chua's method of parenting turns out to be "successful",then Singaporean parents will adopt that method to raise their children.
    3.Imagine yourself as a parent.How similar or different would you bring up your children?
    I believe that not just academics are important to a child's development but the child must be committed to whatever that he/she has chosen,and must not give up.My children will probably suffer a lighter sort of the strict sort of discipline that is mentioned in the passage.They will,however,be allowed to attend whatever sort of activities that they are assigned to go to,or have chosen to go to,unless I really disagree with what they will be doing to my children.My children will be taught that if you do not do well at something,either you just do not have a natural talent for it or you have to practice,practice,and practice some more.I will also raise my children not to be soft,to not be afraid to do something new,and would of course let them use tools such as penknives once they have proven that they can use it responsibly and are old enough to handle it.They should be able to bear pain,and not whine over small things.They should be taught that you achieve academic results,and success is only something that comes with it.Success should not be the motivation to work hard.
    4.Select a paragraph which caught your attention (or surprised you) and explain why.
    Paragraph 18 surprises me as I did not really know that Chinese parents think that we owe them for bringing us up.They think that we are like stocks,that when they invest a lot in us,than we must repay them.We are humans,although we do have an obligation to them,we should be given a choice,and being repaid is not something that should be expected of us.

  10. What are your thoughts after reading the above article?

    I feel that I don’t really agree that all Asian parents or rather all Chinese parents bring up their child with the following method. Although there are some parents which use the methods that are described in the article to raise they’re children, I find that majority of Chinese parents are not that fierce and forceful. However, the parents actually care and encourage the child when the fail to do well in an exam or a test. But I feel that Asian parents will in some way reward the child if him or her does well in the exams or music.

    But I feel that Western parents are too lenient to their children. This could result in a spoilt or complacent child when they grow up and enter the working world. Its not that I disapprove of the method that Western parents use to teach their child, its that I feel that the parents should be more strict so that their children will not have problems in their attitude in the future. Why I might say this is that if a child sees that his or her parents do not scold them if they get bad results in a test, the child would be tempted not to study and instead, spend his or her time on less beneficial things.

    Amy Chua’s method of parenting has produced a success formula for raising her children. Would you agree if Singaporean parents advocate a similar method of parenting style if it proves to be “successful”? Explain

    I would agree to Singaporean parents adopting this style of parenting as I feel that many Singaporean children are spoilt and need to be treated strictly in order for them to change their character. I say this as from what I’ve seen, many Singaporean children are spoilt and they need to be disciplined, if not they would not be able to cope with a working life when they grow up.

    Imagine yourself as a parent. How similar or different would you bring up your child(ren)?

    I would bring up my child in the same strict way but slightly more leniently as I definitely do not want my child breaking down due to stress. Why I would still treat my child like this is because I feel that they have to be disciplined and that they have the potential to achieve. But they will not see this potential until they continually practice something or until they have become very good at something they do. Even then, there is always room for improvement.

    4.Select a paragraph which caught your attention (or surprised you) and explain why.

    I chose the paragraph in which Lulu was finally able to play “The Little White Donkey” after all that her mother had did to her. Her mother forced her to play the piano even though Lulu didn’t want to. She was just so strict, forcing her to play on and on without breaks. And finally when Lulu managed to play the piece, she was so happy even though she went through all the hardships.

  11. 1. What are your thoughts having read the above article?

    After reading the article, i feel that even if the teaching processes of western mothers and chinese mothers are different, they still want the best for their children. Chinese mothers think that happiness and great accomplishments can only be achieved through hard work. therefore, chinese parents push their children very hard in hopes that they would become more successful and bring pride to their parents. western parents, however, care for the mentality of their children, therefore, they would not push their children very hard in terms of academic studies as they are afraid that they would hurt their children.

    2. Amy chua's method of parenting has produced a success formula for raising her children. would you agree if singaporean parents advocate a similar method of parenting style if it proves to be successful? explain

    yes, i would agree, as it increase the productivity of the singaporean citizens. This will allow singapore to reach greater heights. Singaporeans will also be much more professional and hirable, making singaporeans highly sought after.

    3.imagine yourself as a parent. How similar or different would you bring up your children(ren)?

    i woud most likely bring my children up the chinese way, as i feel that that method of teaching, although hard and very tough, offers the best rewards, as success can only be achieved through hard work I would wish for the best for my children, therefore i choose to teach my children the way chinese parents teach their children. a paragraph which caught your attention (or surprised you) and explain why.

    i chose the tenth paragraph, as it clearly states the difference in the way of teaching between western parents and chinese parents

  12. 1. I do not support everything she says. Her methods of discipline is strictly extreme and bizarre. She is not giving the child enough freedom, and it is like a life in prison, because the child is limited by her mother's ridiculous rules.
    2. Yes & No. Yes because it is proof in merit itself, that chinese parents are producing more results academically compared to western parents. No however, because she is pushing it to an extreme extent. I still believe that children should be given the freedom to have fun. Children deprived of fun may end up getting conditions like depression, where many Singaporean chinese often end up in newspaper headlines, labelled "teenager commits suicide". Thus, I believe there must be a balance between the two.
    3. I would still enforce hard work and regimental style discipline, but I will not abuse my child (as shown in the passage of the refusal of food, water, breaks, etc.). Such acts will only lead to rebellion, depression, and loneliness.
    4. Not paragraph, but rather a set of paragraphs. It surprised me that a parent could mistreat a child and deny her a visit to the toilet, a drink, or a meal. Such acts are under my terms, child abuse.

  13. 1. I find that all parents want their children to succeed, but it is just the manner in which the parent does it. Misunderstanding is caused as many think that the way Chinese parents treat their child. Personally, I think that we should not generalize as there are also many scholars and successors from Western families. This is not only in the academic area but also in the arts. Since people have different views in shaping their child for the future, I feel that we should use the appropriate method to shape our child, whether it is to respect the child’s decision or to guide the child through any means.

    2. I agree that a similar method of parenting style should be introduced to Singapore. Although it would seem more forceful than helpful, it would prove profitable when one achieves what one wants. Still, through the process of guiding, a parent should not be too strict and should be sensitive about the feelings of the child.

    3. I would be sensitive about the feelings of my child. Still, I would make sure that my child stays focused on the given task and do it to the best of their ability. I would also ensure that my child experience the right way of learning, instead of just stuffing information into one’s mind.

    4. The second paragraph, which talks about how strict Chinese parents are through the example of practicing their musical instruments, surprised me. When I play the piano, I would usually take about 45 minutes to an hour. It shocked me when I found out that Chinese children plays for an hour to three hours long. This made me realize that I would need to would much harder in order to catch up with them.

  14. 1. After reading the article, I realised that Chinese parents really have a firm grip and control over their children. They also demand nothing than the best results and efforts from their children. However, Western parents are more lenient and consider their children’s feelings more. But even though both parents have a different style of disciplining and bringing up their children, they want the best for their children. It just depends on their culture, beliefs and their experience as a child.

    2. Singaporean parents should advocate a similar method of parenting style if it proves to be “successful”, to get their children back under their control. However, this should not be implemented too strictly. I feel that Singaporean parents have been influenced by the Western practices and views. Thus, some parents have lost control or have limited control over their children and need to use a stricter method to show that the parent is in authority.

    3. If I were a parent, I would want to strike a balance between being strict and being lenient when disciplining my child. I feel that a parent should know how to take control and let go during the appropriate situation. For example, parents should want the child to strive for excellence in studies, but not to the point where they can get nothing but an A in everything. When the child does not get good grades, the parent should know how to comfort but not over praise the child even if he/she did his/her best. I feel that this is the way that children would be happy and know the authority of the parent but not under the thumb of the parent always.

    4. The paragraph which caught my attention, found in page 2, stated “Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can’t… when I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, my father angrily called me “garbage” in our native Hokkien dialect… As an adult, I once did the same thing to Sophia, calling her garbage in English when she acted extremely disrespectfully toward me.” I was really surprised when I read this paragraph as I did not think that parents would actually call their children “garbage”, even though their children were extremely disrespectful. Even though some parents might say that it is for the better of their child, I do think that these harmful words will still demoralise the child to an extent. I also do not think that it is right for a parent to criticise their child to such an extent. Parents should also not allow, that the child to be extremely disrespectful, and make sure that such a thing does not happen. If it does, I still feel that reasoning and a light reprimand would do.

  15. 1 . I think that this article is biased . It is obvious that the author is bringing down the western parents . She continuously pointed out that the Chinese way of parenting was much more effective than the Western way of parenting .

    The article is very informative . Through examples experienced by the author herself , the various points are throughly explained .

    2 . No . Singapore children are highly educated and knows that it is important to have their own freedom of speech . Besides , teenagers nowadays are very rebellious , they do not like to be told what to do . Also in Singapore , there are a lot of paths that a student can explore or venture into . So , parents should not restrict their child into only pursuing what they think is best for their future .

    3.Even though I favor the western way of parenting more , I could try to have a blend of both . If I am still starting out with parenting , I could try out both the methods and see which one is more effective on my child . The western way of parenting encourages creativity , plus , the child can still improve but in a less stressful environment as compared to the Chinese . I find the Chinese way of parenting too strict . It is as if the child’s life is scripted , as though the children are the parents’ to control . Often in school , we are told that learning is a fun and enjoyable process . However , once we get home , we are pressurized about our grades . This should not be the life of a student .

    4. The paragraph on page 3 that talks about the westerners not thinking that their children are indebted to them but instead it is the parents that should better treat the children . I find this very true . Children do not actually choose their parents , in fact , it is them that chose to give birth to us . So , with that in mind , it is definitely wrong to think that children are indebted to the parents . Then again , it is also wrong to think vice versa . So , in my opinion , since parents cannot choose their children and children cannot choose their parents , both parties should have a compromise . No one should be under the control of the other . We should respect each other’s opinions .

  16. 1) I think that chinese parents are hard on their children because they want their children to succeed, however, sometimes the parents go past the limit and force their children into success, which will cause the children to have deprived childhoods and not being able to enjoy the first few years of their life as they are preoccupied by the tasks that their parents want them to achieve. I also think that although the chinese families may know how to bring their children up, it may not be the best way as it makes the child even more rebellious as he/she is confronted with so many restrictions.
    2) I do not agree. THis is so as when bringing up a child, it is best to allow him/her to grow without too many restrictions. However, Amy Chua’s methods are harsh on the child and the child may become more rebellious, since children tend to get rebellious when they have restrictions.
    3) I would set some ground rules for the child. However, when he/she wants something, I will discuss with him/her on a compromise so that both parties can settle on an agreement and both parties would get what they want.
    4) The paragraph which states that parents demand perfect grades shocked me as i know not all parents are like that, only a certain few are. Also, parents only assume that their children are able to get the grade. They have never talked to their child on how they study .etc and expects them to get a perfect grade.

  17. 1.I think that Chinese Mothers are way too strict in their way of teaching their children and therefore not letting have the sense of enjoyment. When their children make a mistake in something, they reprimand them badly, hurting their feelings and self-esteem, lowering their level of confidence. However, if I were to look through the perspective of a Chinese child, they may think that it is completely normal or this is right, so they may think that they have to work harder, but in a positive manner, and not doing even more badly in their next test because their self-esteem is lowered. So, we can’t really blame them or their parents as it is in their “tradition”.

    2. No, I would not agree. Firstly, it depends on the child’s personality, whether or not this method will hurt their self-esteem, causing them to do badly in the next test, etc. and whether or not they mind about their self-esteem being affected. Secondly, it also matters if the child himself/herself takes this method of parenting adopted by her parents positively or negatively, as it will affect the amount of time they can spend on enjoyable activities. In the context of Singapore, I think the child would take this negatively as most of their peers would probably have the freedom to take part and enjoy as many activities they wish to take part in. Besides, if they are undergoing the “rebellious stage” in life, it would be hard to employ this method to them.

    3. I would praise him/her when they get good results or do well in something, but at the same time, I would encourage them to do better as there is always room for improvement and my expectations may alter depending on the difficulty of the test or based on the highest score and lowest score in my child’s class. Although I am a Chinese, I do not approve of the Chinese’ method of parenting, as it gives the child way too much stress and they may feel constricted and unable to express their feelings and may not be able to discover their hidden talent if they are not allowed to do too many things.

    4. At the paragraph “......I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn’t do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.” I was entirely shocked because I didn’t know that parents actually say that to their own children, because their children are part of them and I don’t know how this is called motivating their children.

  18. Questions for Reflection:
    Think about the following questions and respond to them in your English Journal (Minimum 200 words)
    1.What are your thoughts having read the above article?
    2.Amy Chua's method of parenting has produced a success formula for raising her children. Would you agree if Singaporean parents advocate a similar method of parenting style if it proves to be "successful"? Explain.
    3.Imagine yourself as a parent. How similar or different would you bring up your child(ren)?
    4.Select a paragraph which caught your attention (or surprised you) and explain why.

    Having read the article, I feel for the children of the children of these parents as they have missed out on many different experiences that they could have experienced, for example in sports, team games that involve teamwork and risk taking. However, I envy them as they are able to get a lead in the society as they have been trained by their parents with skills like never giving up even when it seems hopeless, work hard, focus their concentration and be determined.
    Amy Chua's method of parent has produced a success formula for raising her children however in some cases this formula will result in the children turning to dislike, worst case scenario hate, their parent. However I would agree if Singapore parents advocate a similar method of parenting style if it does prove to be "successful", with "successful" meaning that the children attain everything that they are entitled to as a child, for example, proper education skills attained through Amy Chua's method and at the same time the physical fitness and chance for sports in the method of parenting used by western parents.
    However, as a parent, I myself as I stated before in paragraph 2 as the definition of "successful", proper education skills attained while having the chance for building up physical fitness and sports. Therefore, one difference I do know that I will implant into the way i raise my child or children will be that I will definitely give them the chance for more sports. However, I will definitely strictly make sure my child or children get their work done and also extra practice to make sure they understand their work thoroughly.
    The paragraph which caught my attention the most would have been the first paragraph, which includes all the points of what Amy Chua never allowed her children to do. This is because of the fact that there were so much that they were deprived of that I would never miss out for anything and I do mean ANYTHING.